Ten years ago today changed our lives forever. I’d love to say that the pain & confusion seem like a distant & fuzzy memory, but that’s not the case. February 8th is a day that no longer causes me intense pain; instead, I choose to feel, reflect, and release.
Ten years later, I can honestly look back & see profound lessons I am grateful to have received as a parent of a medically complex child. Here are 10 for 10.
1. “No.” is a complete sentence. I have learned to prioritize my time and say “no” when needed, even if it is to rest.
2. The professionals aren’t always the experts for my child. Often, I am the expert.
3. The chores can wait. I’ve learned to put what’s most important first. Sometimes, that means slowing down & intentionally spending time with my loved ones.
4. Dreams & goals will change. Don’t let the grief over what “won’t be” keep you from dreaming reaching for what is possible. Different can be absolutely amazing.
5. Others will judge me, and that’s okay. Period.
6. Establish a diverse support network. Your network can never be too big. That doesn’t mean that everyone deserves a seat at your table. When others walk out of your life, let them.
7. My child’s accomplishments are profound & need to be celebrated. I’ve learned to stop comparing him to others’ “typical” milestones. I’ve also learned that there’s no such thing as “typical” when it comes to children.
8. Strength is more than muscles. My child is the strongest person I know. In fact, our entire family is pretty dang resilient.
9. A debilitating diagnosis does not equal a debilitating life. Not everything on this journey is a blessing, but every blessing adds life to this journey.
10. God’s grace, love, and mercy have been the fundamental foundation where hope and joy are built. That foundation came in stages & wasn’t always easy to establish. It was worth it, though.