Fear is not a sign of weakness. It simply means you’re human, and lousy stuff is goin’ down in your life. It’s okay to fear. To feel fear is normal and, dare I say, it’s healthy at times. It happens to everyone. Every. Single. Person. How you deal with that fear is critical. Feeling fear isn’t the problem – it’s camping out there that is.
We often think if we get to the next level – be that a job, marriage, divorce, remission, children, retirement, or even a cure – we’ll be fine. We will have made it. We figure we’re on the downhill stretch, right? I hope that is true for some of us, some of the time. The fact of the matter is that life continues to happen no matter what you’ve already been through or what you are currently experiencing now.
There isn’t a fear-barometer that sounds an alarm saying, “Sara has had enough! She’s hit her limit of crud, so you need to back off for now.” (Man, how great would that be?!)
REALITY vs. POSITION
There is always a new gut-punch or a new shock. Acknowledging that isn’t a negative point of view either. It’s just honesty and our reality. For me, the real question is not “What is my reality?” but the question I ask myself is, “What is my position within that reality?” For example, my son is terminal. That’s not a negative point of view. That’s our current reality. I had someone one time tell me that I couldn’t keep thinking about that because that’s a pessimistic point of view. I couldn’t disagree more.
As a mom, I think of my son’s diagnosis every day – heck, multiple times a day. It’s sad, scary, and it is gut-wrenching. Nonetheless, I know that I can’t stay in that place of fear, desperation, and disheartenment. I get to choose my position within my reality. And my position is that we have limited time together, so we make every day count. We skip open houses for school and go to Cold Play concerts instead. We take surfing lessons because we know there may not be another chance. We leave the dishes dirty and spend an entire Saturday watching all of the Star Wars movies.
The reality is that my son is deteriorating every day. My position within that reality is that I refuse to let the terminal diagnosis become a terminal life for him or our family. THAT is what matters most.
ALWAYS A NEW DEVIL
An entrepreneur I follow on social media, Stu McLaren, once said, “New level. New devil.” Yes, he was talking about that next level of professional success. But it made me start thinking that that is true over all facets of our lives. How many times do we feel that everything will be more comfortable once we achieve that next step, or dare I say simpler? For those of us with a few decades under our belts, we know for sure that isn’t the way it works. Obstacles, heartache, and stress don’t ever go away. It just changes the way it’s delivered. And hopefully, it changes the way you handle it! What would have destroyed me a decade ago now only brings me to my knees to ask direction and discernment from my the one true Guide.
I don’t go through life thinking it’s not fair. I go through life with a resilient heart, a firm faith, and a stronger God than any of the negative thrown my way.
GOD’S PROMISES
We have not been promised an easy life here on earth. It’s a broken world we live in. God has promised us that He will help us overcome it, though. He wants our troubles. 1 Peter 5:7 says, “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” That’s it. That’s the only reason – he cares for you.
There are days when we don’t feel we can take anymore. We have had all we can handle (and then some). That’s when God is waiting for us to hand it over to Him. He wants us to come to Him.
RELEASING THE HEAVY LOAD
When life’s burdens get too heavy, one of my favorite passages is Matthew 11:28-30. Jesus says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Read that passage again. Imagine that you are wearing part of a yoke. (I’m a visual gal, so maybe you are too. Here’s a pic to help.) Think of the weight of the heavy load you are carrying around with you. Now, picture facing God, and He has a light yoke because all His yoke consists of is His love, grace, and dedication to those committed to Him. Picture taking off your yoke and giving it to God. He then gives you his loving grace. If you need to, picture God lifting the burden from you and gently laying his yoke of love upon you.
I do this when life’s burdens become too heavy for me to carry alone. It’s a good thing I don’t need to, nor was I ever intended to.
What burden do you need to release? What yoke is weighing you down? It won’t change your reality, but it might just change your position within it.
We have a free download on our podcast website at takeheartspecialmoms.com. It has three different exercises (with journal pages) to help you find hope, peace, and gratefulness in the hard places of our journeys. Make sure to check it out. I hope you find value in it.