The definition of suffering is “the state of undergoing pain, distress, or hardship.”
The definition of suffering is NOT “the state of mentally berating yourself for not being as strong as you think you should be.”
Suffering, pain, distress, and hardship come no matter what. It’s a part of this world. So, please don’t make light of your pain. Don’t feel you “should” be stronger. Don’t feel like you “should” know what to do. Don’t feel like you “should” be able to shrug it off.
Instead, ask yourself what will you make of the suffering? What will you eventually shape the pain into? How do you not stay stuck in the pain but use the hardship for personal growth?
When suffering can be constructive:
- We are stripped down to the raw state of ourselves. We get to see ourselves in a light that can illuminate the dark places – and we all have dark places. We can see those places within ourselves that need to be fortified or maybe even softened.
- We have the opportunity to evaluate what is in our lives that needs to change. If we let it, suffering leads to a change in routine, thinking, or feeling.
- We accept help from others. Yes, this is a good thing.
- We can more readily identify when others are suffering and easily offer authentic support and comfort from a place of knowledge and experience.
When suffering can be DEstructive:
- We play the blame game. Whose fault is it? Who is more guilty? That’s a game no one wins.
- We become self-centered, only recognizing our pain and not those of others around us.
- We refuse help from others, often alienating ourselves from our family and friends.
- We reject God and his goodness, faithfulness, and love.
To be perfectly honest, I took up residence in a destructive place for a long time. Putting down roots in my suffering brought me nothing but depression, hopelessness, and a few (okay, a lot of) unneeded pounds. (The answer is not in a bag of Oreos, people. I looked. A lot.) The road back from that place is a tough journey, but a worthwhile one.
Once I started looking at suffering as an opportunity to learn and grow, my life changed. I now see this life as one to embrace. I am truly thankful for the lessons my life has brought me.
I hope those lessons are making me a better person: a better wife, mom, daughter, sister, friend, and ultimately a better child of God.
Are you in the midst of suffering? Take comfort in God’s promise to an end of suffering and heartache through salvation.
Peter wrote in 1 Peter 5:10 “And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while [emphasis added], will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.”